KyleCrose on Xanga

Self Defined	Do one better than you did before.

KyleCrose

Name: Kyle
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Birthday: 11/8/1982
Gender: Male

Interests: Theatre, music, punk(the kind for fireworks), anything that isnt american, fuck tony blair, anything taboo, and girls.
Expertise: Theatre and I hear I'm pretty good in bed, however it was richard that told me that.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art

Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

twocigmonkey

Member Since: 3/8/2004

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Posting Calendar

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"WTF Kyle?" a reflection of self doubt...

Do I exist?

no just kidding not that kind of self doubt. I have doubts about my strength of will. i think it might be gone. i used to have some... now I am not so sure. I swore off smoking, I bought a pack yesterday, I swore off news, last night I read the economic recovery act (thats right the whole thing). I have been meaning to do laundry and meaning to clean dishes and meaning to discuss bills with the roomies. where did it all go? no motivation, no will power, no self control. Leftovers I suppose, bad habbits from feeling ineffectual for over a year. I know it isn't as bad as I think. i know I am more motivated than the general population, but about once a week I go get fast food and I just want to kick myself. I have a cigarette and I just want to die, but there is some nagging voice in the back of my head screaming that its OK that its not that bad and that I should keep doing it.

Who the fuck is that voice? there seems to be an internal battle going on right now. I know who I want to win, but is that who I am? Maybe this is a do I exist problem

2:32 PM - 11 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Friday, February 06, 2009

"serenity in light of neo-con" a consumer age adventure

i think I am going to stop watching the news. mainly because i don't just "watch" the news. I junkie out on the news, I absorb information. Recently I realized that this is potentially very damaging. I get so angry I want to hulk out, go shnickity-schnickt and flame on all over our leaders and pundants and firm believers in aristocracy and beurocracy. I have started to have paranoid delusions about political shifts and tabloid realizations that never actually happened. or there is this vast conspiracy to brain wipe certain events from the entire population and I am somehow experiencing vauge memories of these erased events; unlikely I know, but either way political news binging is bad for my health.

it is overly frustrating to see all this chaos that is the buisness as usual in our political system go forth at a rampant pace, no matter what "change" might be taking place. I listen to conservative radio about three times a week. I do it to know what the hell they are thinking. I get liberals. most of them anyway. they are either ill informed or idealogically geared towards ideals based on communal and or cooperational existance. "we are all in this together" which occasionally means socialism and comunism and death of republic style liberty. or at least thats what right wingers would have you think. creationist would have you think we all used to live to 900 or so years and walked around with dinosaurs. or that those fossils are a trick from the devil, but that is niether here nore there.
lefties believe that all the righties are trying to take away your rights with fear tactics and big buisness. They will let unregulated food and drug corperations shit on your potatoes and sodomize your children to increase the sales of anti phsychotics for todlers.
there are thousands of politicians and reporters and commentators and that's on top of millions of bloggers that and local media, that all tell you to believe in the importance of taking sides and that red is versus blue is all that matters and we all need to fight each other to preserve our inalienable right to abort babies or own a handgun, understand the culture war is happening and its real and your fucking soul is at risk and so is your savings, more on this and the weather at nine. They tell us all of this and part of it is right. everything is at risk everything is screwed and corrupted. there are people trying to take away your rights. does it have anything to do with ideology?
Pay attention. it has nothing to do with that. its money its power, its just plain buisness. this group of people make money for that group of people and they form factions and cliques like any other reasonably small population. aristocratic hierarchy is all it is and all it ever was. you aren't free if you are in so much debt you have to work to pay it off. You aren't free if the same families and groups of rich people have been in charge of this country for many decades.
It really does all suck. Its terrible and we all should rise up and stop it from happening, we should make them fear us, the working masses the disenfranchised good citizens who go to work and pay our taxes. if we do sign me up I am all about it. sounds like a plan, but in the mean time, it reall does all just suck the magic right out of the world. though I suppose it all depends on your perspective. The smart thing to do is ignore what the everyone else believes and stop fuming over it, and rather focus on what I believe makes me free. who knows how well thats gonna work though, really.

12:57 AM - 12 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Friday, January 30, 2009

I read an amazing comic last night

then I found out it has been made into a shitty movie.... Wanted is amazing, its about what the world would be like if the super villians won. basically exactly what the world is like now. but with evil super powered beings running everything.. aparently the movie bastardizes that into some league of assasins. its lame. the book was poingnent social comentary. brilliant, amazingly done, and in one foul swoop angelina jolie and hollywood destroyed it all. its to bad really

10:17 AM - 16 views - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Friday, December 12, 2008

woot woot

I love you all, each and every one of you make me smile past the limit of my ears. My eyes have welled with tears just thinking about how wonderful you all are. despite the fact that people as a whole must and will all be destroyed by there own ineptitude, I just want to remind you that I love each and every one of you as individuals and I hope you succeed at life and being happy.

I really do care again, I care about so much more in such a broader scope than I did before. Last night I was asked to once again forgoe all other cares for that of my ex, and I didn't. I said no, I went to the living room and i played lego batman and I honestly did not care that she was upset or whatever.

I was so proud of myself it wasn't even funny, so I posted a post about it. it is really a jubilation post as opposed to a giving up post, woot me for not being a wipped puppy anymore

12:04 PM - 20 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I really don't

I don't fucking care, I don't fucking care, I don't fucking care anymore!

I DON"T FUCKING CAAAAAAAAARE ANYMORE!

9:33 AM - 25 views - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it

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